Amber's LiveJournal

Time:

3:28 pm.

lol, i want a kitty....still! My boss at work is looking for a new home for his house cat. and i want her so bad! shes so pretty! she's part siamese, and has the prettiest blue eyes! and her fur is soo stinkin soft! She sheds more than any cat i know of...but i figure a regular brushing can help reduce that problem...but she is so sweet. she loves to be loved. but yeah.. i want her. problem is i dont have the money to feed her. lol. The only reason Pete wants to find a new home for her is because, since he's a truck driver, he's out on the road alot. and doesnt get to give her the attention she needs. sometimes in a week im the only one she sees, when i stop by to feed her.
lol, Hey Liz, do you want another cat? i think you'd love her! haha.

anyways.... i am ready to have this baby any day now! im so sick and tired of being sick and tired and pregnant! lol.

the neighbors dogs are being annoying again! for awhile there we didnt hear a peep out of them. which was really nice. and the neighbors finally put a board up blocking the whole underneath the house. so they cant get in there and cause more problems.
lol earlier when i got home from work, one of the dogs was over in our yard, barking and being stupid again, so i ran and got the air soft gun that my brothers borrowed to me (for this purpose) and went out on the porch and I GOT HER! haha, took me four or five try's but i finally got her, lol and she made a bee line back to the neighbors yard. haha...

Kyle started his second job last night. sounds reallyinteresting. he works for this company that test drives new cars. testing their performance in the cold weather and what not. last night he said he drove a 2009 Jeep Commander.

Work for me is about the same. just getting really sick of the guys that are working out in the shop every day. i think they are doing some welding work for Pete. but the welding stuff, makes my boogers turn black! plus it makes it really hard to breath. so i try to keep the door to the shop closed. but the darned cat, will scratch at the door and it gets really annoying, so i let him out into the shop, then he'll scratch at the door until i let him back in. its like he cant stand to have the door closed. so when he's in the office and scratching at the door, i'll throw stuff at him. lol by the time i leave or get up for any other reason, there is a pile of stuff by the door. lol.
i think that cat is going to be lost, after i have the baby...he likes to curl up and sleep on my tummy. its his perch. and once thats gone, he's not going to have anywhere to sleep. haha.

well i think im done for now....so tootlez!

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Subject:	Pres. Hinkley
Time:	11:46 pm.

I got this cool email with the story about one of the Hymns that was sung at President Hinkleys funeral. and i thought i'd post it in here for future reference.as well as a copy of the lyrics:

This is a letter written by Janice Kapp Perry, who, as most of you know, is a popular LDS musician and author.

During President Hinckley's funeral Tabernacle Choir will be singing a hymn text written by President Hinckley which I set to music in December. I would like to share the story of it with you:

About two months before my niece Kathy Blacker died, on January 11, 2008, she found a three-verse poem by President Hinckley among her files.

Although she was resigned to dying, she had some fears about the dying process and his words greatly comforted her—especially the second verse which descirbed exactly what she was feeling. She wrote to Pres. Hinckley's office to ask permission to have the poem printed on her funeral program, and she received a very nice letter from his secretary Don H. Staheli saying that President Hinckley gave his permission for her to do so.

The letter also conveyed some very comforting words from Pres. Hinckley which were helpful to helpful to Kathy in her final weeks, and he said he would remember Kathy in his prayers.

Then Kathy suggested that I write and ask permission to give the poem a hymn setting. I did so, and Brother Staheli conveyed President Hinckley's permission for me to write the hymn.

After offering some heartfelt prayers that I might be able to write appropriate music for his profoundly beautiful and m oving text, I wrote the hymn setting and sent a copy to President
Hinckley's office for approval at the end of December. I received so immediate response.

Kathy passed away January 11 and after her funeral I sent a copy of her funeral program to President Hinckley's office so he could see how nicely his poem was displayed along side my brother Gary Kapp's painting of Christ.

When I heard President Hinckley had passed away last Sunday night I was feeling a little sad to think I hadn't received a letter with his official
approval. But the very next day after his passing, the hoped-for letter arrived with his approval, his permission for me to publish it in a future volume of my series Inspirational New Hymns for Choir and Home, and leaving it to my discretion as to whether to submit it to the Church Music Division.
The timing was so unusual and I was extremely grateful to receive the letter as a tender mercy in my life.

Then on Monday afternoon Craig Jessop, Tabernacle Choir Director, heard about the hymn and had his office call me to obtain a copy of the hymn for consideration for President Hinckley's funeral. On Tuesday, while travelling in California, I learned that the hymn would be performed by The Tabernacle Choir at President Hinckley's funeral on Saturday.

Having seen the great comfort this hymn brought to my niece who died just two weeks before President Hinckley passed away, my great desire is for people throughout the world to have a free copy of these magnificent words of President Hinckley to comfort them in times of the loss of loved ones.

This is just one more way his influence could be felt down through time.

What is This Thing That Men Call Death
Text by Gordon B. Hinkley, Music by Janice Kapp Perry

What is this thing that men call death
This quiet passing in the night?
'Tis not the end but genisis
Of better worlds and greater light

Oh God, tough Thou my aching heart
And calm my troubled, haunting fears.
Let hope and faith, transcendant pure,
Give strength and peace beyond my tears.

There is no death, but only change,
With recompense for vict'ry won.
The gift of Him who loved all men,
The Son of God, the Holy one.

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Subject:	Complaining!!
Time:	11:32 am.

yeah i know im not a good employee...im updating on here at work. but in all reality, im done with what there is to do for now. and i have to wait for Pete to get back so i can ask him for some stuff before i can send out a bill.

but anyways...

I was given a couple of books on parenting and stuff for christmas. so i've been reading them. as well as info i find online from a couple of sites that track how far along i am from week to week. and in almost everything that i have read, they all say that i should be enjoying these last few weeks before i give birth.... but i am finding that very hard to do. most of the time i am miserable! for one.... my hips are in pretty bad shape... when you get into the later part of pregnancy, your body releases a hormone that relaxes all the muscles and ligaments. and with all those laxed so much, all of my joints wont stay in place. so since December, my hips have been hurting really bad. when i lay down, my left hip aches so much, (im supposed to lay on my left side as much as possible to increase blood flow to the baby) so i try to switch to my right side, and by the time i get there im out of breath from trying to roll over, and then there is only relief for a little while. when im on my left side, i think its the weight of everything that makes my right hip ache so bad. so then i try to roll back to my left side...and the time i spend on that side becomes even shorter. so im constantly flipping from side to side... and i cant lay on my back, cuz the weight of my uterus will cut off circulation to my lower half as well as the baby. so its dangerous to lay on my back for too long. ...so yeah...i am already not getting enough sleep.

then theres some new developments..that keep me from "enjoying" these last few weeks. Since Monday, i think i have been having some contractions.... but i kindof think its still the harmless kind called Braxton Hicks contractions. but wow they hurts and leave me relly tired. its like i've been in the weight room, and doing an intensive ab workout for at least an hour. you know when your stomache muscles just feel like they've been worked to exhaustion...and it make syou feel so tired, then at the same time my lower back has this intense pain that radiates from my back to my sides. its one really intense feeling! I've been having them alot since monday..and im not sure if it is the Braxton hicks or not...im kindof scared to call the Doctors office. at the office they have a phone nurse that they have you talk to instead of the doctor himself. and i've called her alot with questions in the past. and every time i get the same answer..."its normal" especially from the doctor i was seeing before. she really made me feel like i was just a paranoid girl, who was just looking for a reason to be seen by a doctor. the phone nurses was always a little nicer but i still got the same vibe from her. so im still kindof scared to call her. So i've been trying to look online to see if i can find a decription from some one else, exactly what a contraction feels like and when to start getting concerned. but i havent found one! i have found plenty that say what to do when you feel contractions but not WHAT THEY FEEL LIKE! so im getting a little annoyed. basically, im just kindof hoping that these pains either go away or else hope that my 4 hours of work every day goes nice and fast so i can get back home and lay down again...just to have my hips start hurting again.
also..when it comes to working, Kyle and i decided to switch vehickes and have him take the jeep and me take the Grand Prix to try and save some gas money. especially since i have to go into town alot lately. but wow... getting into the jeep was hard...but getting in and out of the Grand Prix is even worse.
so as i said before i am finding it very difficult to enjoy the last part of this pregnancy! its downright frustrating!!
but yeah im just hopng this time will go fast. lol. we'll see.
Lol the other night i was looking at myself in the mirror. and Kyle was like wow..your so big! i was like ya think! he was like "theres an actually underside to your belly!" and he's right..i cant see the underside of my stomache anymore. the onyl way to see the extent of the ugly stretch marks is to look in the mirror. its horrible! lol after i have my kids , i might actually give more thought to plastic surgery.lol.
well im done for now... i have to call and make an appt. for one of our drivers to go get drug tested.. so tootlez for now!

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Time:

12:23 pm.

wow so its been awhile since i last posted an entry.
hmm updates...
well we went back to michigan for Christmas. I had a really good time this year. I felt like i was more apart of the family this year..unlike last year.
For the trip, we decided to go down through Chicago instead of going through the U.P. to try and avoid the snow.
HAHAHA! instead we hit a snow storm in Wisconsin. which slowed us down to about 35-40 miles an hour. so the going was very slow. we saw truckers and cars in the ditches everywhere. it turned our 15 hour drive into a 22 hour drive.
Since i had been sitting in the car for that whole time, when we finally got to Kyles moms house, i was really really really swollen!. it was horrible. my ring on my finger was so tight! and my feet were triple their normal size! and my face was so round i didnt look like me! that night i got up to go to the bathroom and from the light coming from the night light i saw my face in the mirror..and wow it was even rounder! i had two chins. lol. so the next morning i was talking to my mom on the phone and i mentioned how swollen i was. and she told me to call my doctors nurse about it. i honeslty wasnt worried about it. because other than my sinus's and cheeks hurting from being so swollen and my eyes barely open..i felt fine. i was out of breath alot more than usual but i figured it was just from being tired from the trip. but i called the nurse anyways. and she told me to be seen by a doctor as soon as possible. i was like..umm ok. so i go tell kyle whos just getting out of the shower. and hes like your kidding. i was like i wish i was.
so for Christmas Eve we drove into Grand Blanc to the hospital to their ER. i was surprised at how quickly they broght me in. apparently i was more of a concern than i originally thought. so i get into the room and they are telling me that they are worried about blood clots. it never dawned on me about blood clots.
so they did CT scans to see if there were any in my lungs and what not. and the ladies that where in there were Chastising me for not asking my doctor if i could travel. they said that long drives like that raise my risk of premature labor. and blood clots.
but anyays...after all that i was perfectly fine. just lots of fluid built up from the long drive...(my initial guess)
so we get back to kyles moms house and go on with Christmas.
one thing that i've never done before is open gifts on Christmas Eve. and thats what we did this year. it was weird cuz the next morning we all got up...and the only thing to look forward to was breakfast. lol presents were already done. it was really odd.
then that after noon we headed to Kyles Dads house. we opened presents there. most of it was baby stuff. but i got a MASH bag and another horse calendar and a MASH mouse pad.
lol we played apples to apples with the family. then Kyle, his dad , and step mom all started playing this Kareoke game on PS2. it was pretty funny..seeing my hubby hit those high notes as well as seeing his dad sing! the next day we headed back to kyles moms house. and i helped out with some of the preparations for the baby shower that kyles mom was throwing for me on friday. then Sue and i went shopping. she bought me a tons of maternity clothes. which was so nice! that night we went to dinner with David allen and his gf Jamie. that was fun.
Thursday, we didnt do a whole lot. but we did meet up with a bunch of our friends tthat night for dinner at Steak and Shake. like we used to before we moved. it was alot of fun seeing everyone again.
after dinner we followed Mike and Jesse around while they did some shopping ans stuff. then we decided to go to David allens house and play Apples to Apples. that was realy fun! then we went home and went to bed. i fellinto bed i was so tired. lol.
Friday was the Baby shower. Liz B. and Kandice S. came. Sue had told me that both were planning to come. so i was exstatic! lol, but liz was a lil late..so i got worried. but then she showed up and it was all good. i am so glad that both Kandice and Liz came! i was worried that it was all going to be the people that Sue invited that i really dont know very well..like the people from her work. and there were someothers too.. but with liz and kandice there i felt better. I think both Liz and Kandice both won a prize with the games. lol and i didnt even help Liz out on the name game. lol. i thought that was pretty cool. Liz left early though cuz she wasnt feeling well. im just glad she came though! it meant alot to me!
hmm Saturday came and we packed everything up and left. we had good weather the whole way! which was so nice. so our trip only took about 14 or 15 hours total ithink. plus Kyles mom gave us money to stop at a hotel. so that also helped alot too. we got home Sunday afternoon. then we just kinda plopped ourselves in bed and fell asleep early that night. especially since Kyle was so tired and had to work the next morning.

so yeah that was our trip.

as for other updates. im not sure if i've updated on my job situtation yet..but i dont work for Subway anymore..thansk goodness. now i work for a Trucking Company. and im an office manager...lol although i'm the only one i manage other than the cat. im only working 4 hours a day just like subway. but im being payed alot more. and the job is less demanding physically. and my boss, Pete is more flexible when it comes to my Doctors appointments. which is SOO nice! so yeah im happy now. the only time i get frustrated is when Pete's Fiance, Hope, gets smart with me. she can frustrate me pretty quickly but what ever. lol.

hmm as for the baby..as of today i am about 30 weeks. so less than 10 weeks left! till i can hopefully stop waddling around! lol everyone likes to tell me how big i am. and remind me that im going to be getting even bigger..and how they all feel bad for me. now everytime i hear something of the sort i just roll my eyes. the baby is defentily doing well i think. for one, he's defentily growing without any problems. and he likes to keep me awake at night by kicking and neading my stomack with his heels. after awhile my stomach actually starts to get sore from all of the activity. after awhile i start to feel like i've just done a complete abb workout in the gym or something. my muscles get so tired they ache. lol.
well im getting tired of typing for now so ithink im going to say good by for awhile.
Tootlez for now!

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Time:

10:58 pm.

i dont even know what im going to write about. but i'm bored.
maybe i'l make it a complaining session...
since wednesday i've been feeling like crap. and wednesday night i was in the emergency room, and again they are telling me nothing is wrong. but there are several things that a defenitly different. but i cant convince them of it. i wont wont go into to detail...cuz they're details you wont want to know. bot only am i feeling like crap but there is a di9fference in something which they say they cant see a difference..but they didnt see it before it changed. and it was fine till wednesday. but anyways they sent me home and told me to follow up with my Dr. in a couple of days. while i was in the Emergency room they gave me an IV with some medicine in it for the nausea. so i stayed home from work on thursday, and i started feeling better by that afternoon. but then friday morning about 3:30 it hit me again. a little worse this time with cramps that accompanied the nausea. so i called the nurse again, and told her and she said that my doctor wasnt in that day but she went and talked to the doctor that was in the office that day. and he wanted me to come in and do more labs. then the nurse gave me another note for work. excusing me through tuesday, when i have another appointment with my doctor. and until then im supposed to be on bedrest. which to me sucks. i'm getting soo bored!! the T.V. is no longer very entertaining. and the internet only lasts so long.
but anyways, so when i called into work. Tom was ok and relatively understanding. but when i stopped by after doing the labs to drop off my doctors note, tom told me that when he had told Sheryl (the owner and one who hired me) i guess she got pretty upset. but she cant say i didnt warn her. i told her upfront in my interview that i was having health problems and that i was pregnant. and she told me there would be no problems. HA! i've never been soo harrassed in my life from a job.
well at the moment im not feeling well. so im going to go lay down again. so laterz for now.

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Time:

4:47 pm.

hmm i thought i'd update a bit. first matter of business...my baby!!! : ) I am about 18 1/2 weeks. and last week i started feeling the baby. theres no doubt that its the baby i'm feeling. in fact it gets real active right when i'm trying to go to bed. so it keeps me up and i havent been able to fall asleep till about 12-1. not to mention that for some reason i have become a pretty light sleeper. i used to be able to sleep throught just about anything. but since we moved into our new house i havent been able to sleep through a night with out waking up 2-5 times anight. then it take me a half hour to 45 miins or so to fall asleep again.
b8ut anyways back to the topic.. Baby stuff.... Kyle and i have bought our stroller and carrier. His mom sent us the money so its supposed to be her gift for us. the night that we got it, kyle put it together and pushed around the house for a little while. we were going to wait to get it but we realized that the fabric print that we wanted the meridian was being discontinued and there were only two or three left at the walmart in park rapids. so we were talking to kyles mom about it and she told us to go ahead and get it and that she would send us some money for it.

So i'm still working at the Subway here in Bemidji. but man i wish i didnt. I've never worked for such a chaotic place. they dont treat us employees with any respect but yet expect us to treat them with respect.plus when i was hired one of the owners sheryl who interviewed me..mae alot of promises to me...and now i see they were alll empty promises. plus i told them in the beginning that i was pregnant and that havent had the easiest time with being pregnant and that i would need some understanding. sheryl told me that i would have all of that. and plenty of understanding. but i am finding that its her mnager Ellen that doesnt care about anything or anyone but herself. she has no idea what understanding is. thats for sure!!so far for every time that i have had to call in i have had to have a doctors note...if you ask me that s not understanding. but whatever..

well im going to go take out some meat for dinner so tootlez for now.

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Time:	3:24 pm.
Mood:	blank.
Music:	just the sound of the fan.

so um yeah.....its been awhile.
hmmm where do i begin.....i guess it would be important to announce that i am "expecting". and i am due March 14th.
because of the lovely side affects that accompany the first trimester of pregnancy, i took a month off from work. i have now decided to quit the Bakery however. reason being....there is alot of lifting of pans and racks that i shouldnt be doing.
so i applied at Subway since i know that there isnt alot of lifting and is a relatively "easy" job. and since i have experience i hoped that i would be able to be hired in at a higher wage. wether or not i get that...we will see. but so far i am actually wondering if this job is even going to be tolerable when it comes to all the drama that goes on there. i've only been there since Tuesday and already i think i have seen way too much drama. but anyways i plan on giving this a month or so before i decide what i think completely. i just hope things get better.

also, since the last time i updated.....I have been called as the 2nd counselor in the primary at church. so every three months i have to give the sharing time for the month. this month is my month. and so far so good.

the Murphy's have a double wide trailer house on their property that they are trying to sell. and it hasnt had any activity all summer long. so they have asked us if we would like to move in and "house sit" it for them for the winter. it would save us alot of money. so we have decided to move there. they are taking it off the market until April i believe. and then we are thinking about moving back to Willmar and both of us going to Ridgewater. I think i want to try and go for Vet Tech and see if that would work. i've always wanted to work with animals in some way shape or form, so i hope this is the answer i am looking for.

well i cant think of anything else to write right now. and i think thats all there is for now.
plus im tired of sitting at the computer anyways. so tootlez for now!

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Time:	7:57 pm.
Mood:	blah.

Well i dont remember where i was in my last entry when it comes to telling the details about the reception. but i'm going to try and make this long story somewhat short..just because i have soo much to update on.

so the people who matter most to me did actually come to the reception. i was really hoping that i would have more than just "family friends" and people we knew from church that would come. (meaning my friends) the first group of friends that walked in were Liz B. Nikki and her boyfriend Matt, and Amanda E. and her date. i turned to kyle was like look!! i have friends!! he laughed at me. lol. but then Russel and Julie and Jennifer walked in a few mins later..and then besides Liz A. that was about it who came, from my "high school buddies" so i was excted to see them. i just feeel really guilty and really bad because when i first moved back to Michigan, last May i had EVERY intention of getting together with Liz, Nikki, and Amanda. and big surprise...we never did do one thing. so Liz, Im sorry!! will you forgive me? i really am truely sorry.

a funny thing that happened at the reception.... Liz's mom had made our cake. and it started tipping. so cutting the cake was the first thing on the list of to do's so that we could get pictures of it. the layer that we had a piece of was banana. and WOW!! it was amazing! but....lol..funny still... the only time i actually got to eat any was when i stole a plate with a slice on it and went and hid in the mothers lounge in the womens bathroom. and that was when mostly everyone was gone and clean up had started.

Liz had some neckalces and earrings made for the bridal party. they were little glass crystals. that were pink, blue and white. they matched everything soo well. they really looked good.

Now im going to Fast forward to the night that we stayed in Mackinac. so we get there, and we go and check in at our hotel. then we went and walked around town. there wasn't much open yet. since it was so early in the season. we didnt go over to the island because we didnt have the money. then after the fact my dad tells me..."if you would have told me, i would have given you some money to go over there with" lol.
well later we get back to our hotel and we had gotten a room with a jacuzzi. and we start running water..and its not getting hot.... so i turn it off and i went to try ad take a shower...i took a luke warm shower. so Kyle...my trooper! goes down to the front desk and asks if there is a problem and blah blah blah. well come to find out the rest of the hotel is out of hot water. and their telling us it could be 11 pm before they get any hot water back. and that they werent refunding money or reimburing or anything. so i begged kyle to just go to another hotel. so we packed up our stuff again, and so i went up to the front desk and made a real show for the guy at the desk. i let the tears flow and slammed the room key down and said thanks for ruining my honeymoon!!! then i stomped out with kyle in tow. hehe...man im good!! so then two seconds later as we're packing our stuff in the car, the guy comes running out and says that he would make us a reservation at another hotel. which happened to be at a hotel that was more expensive and nicer too. and they said that they would pay the difference between the two rooms. so we went to this other hotel. enjoyed the HOT WATER!! the next morning...holy cow...HUGE continental breakfast!! the biggest i've ever seen!! they even had sausage and biscuits!! it was amazing!! well worth the temper tantrum i through at the other hotel. hehe..

so now we are here in Bemidji Minnesota. it's taking some getting used to but we're here. Kyle started his new job the day after we got here. but then the end of may the coward that he is..fired Kyle.but instead of doing it himself. he sends his "office manager" and Kyles Friend, Thayne to do his dirty work. it was rediculous. Thayne said that his excuse was that Kyle wasn't "mechanical" enough....right..anyone who knows my husband knows hes very mechanically talented.

I got a job at the end of May at the Local grocery store Bakery. but its not some little dinky bakery...they actually put out a lot more than i think the average Bakery would. i think i would be safe in saying that we even produce more than Wal Mart as well as better quality than Wal Mart.
I'm just a packager. but hey..with out people like me...they'd be there forever. and although it is a good steady job.. its a very tiring one. 4-5 days in a row with out a day off and you're dragging butt!!
luckily though i'm hoping for a chance at a new job. Chris Baumgartner saw a post in the paper about a vet clinic hiring a receptionist. and i match all the requirements..except that i dont have any actual experience in that kind of work. but i think that with a recommendation from the baumgartners i should have a pretty good chance. (Bill is very well known and respected through out the community) plus it will be good especially since im pregnant now. i'll have a chance to sit down more often. instead of on my feet all day every day. plus its a full time job. plus benefits.so that would be Awesome! but then again.. the guy that i talked to said that there will be alot of competition. he said the last time he did this he had over 70 applications and resumes to go through. so i hope that by going in and talking to him, he'll see my resume and give it a second glance.

Today Kyle had a third interview..and will hopefully be starting work at wal mart... doing remodeling for the store. so hopefully it will be a renewed source of income for us. i just hope that he will enjoy it and not dread it too much. and wow the hiring process is almost more bother than its worth. he has to do a drug test... he went through three interviews now. and then he has to do an orientation course..and then training...all that.

On July 5th my Grandpa Capell died. so my parents rented an RV and packed everyone up (including us) and we all drove out to Idaho for the funeral. Im so glad that he is finally out of his misery. he just wasnt himself anymore. there was his body but its like he had already left. at the funeral.
At the viewing, they had an american flag draped over his casket and his Honorable discharge papers from the Army from after World War II on top. and i thought that was a really nice add. the local American Legion did a graveside ceremony. and a 21 gun salute. that was really awesome.
funny thing was they were supposed to have the funeral at the Church building in Grace but so many people were saying they were coming that they moved it to the Niter building. and there were still people left standing. the actually funeral service was really nice. i love hearing stories about my grandpa. and i just hope that they don't die with him. the Craig (the guy who lived down the road from my grandparents and whom my grandpa helped alot with his tractors and farming) got up and spoke and told alot of neat stories about my grandpa. i still dont see how my grandpa isnt already perfect when it comes to his character. i dont think i have ever in my life heard my grandpa complain about any circumstances or situatuations that he was dealt by life. I remember my Grandpa ALWAYS would say, "go to school, go to college and get an education! so you dont end up like me.... but wow if only i COULD turn out like him. maybe not so much in terms of knowledge. but his desire for knowledge. he only made it through the 7th grade i think it was. and he probably wasn't "Smart" when it comes to the books. but anything when it comes to cars, welding, fixing anything and almost everything, he was the one to turn to.

well this has to be it for today. this not having regular internet access isnt fun. but anyways, tootles until next time.

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Subject:	I Dont Know
Time:	10:58 pm.
Mood:	blah.
Music:	Lost in this moment, Big and Rich.

ok. so i have good news and i have bad news. which to tell first... i think i will tell the good news first since im so excited about it.
I asked Liz to be my Maid of Honor this past thursday. and she said yes. and shes excited about it! I Love Liz! shes soo awesome. she
already called me several times with new ideas for things. and shes giving me soo much more support and excitement than Jessica ever has. so im really excited to have such a deserving person be my maid of honor.

bad news time.... i still havent told Jessica yet that she has been replaced. i know its coming and believe me it is. i just dont know when. but i think that to soften the blow i think that im still going to tell her that she was still a close friend to me for so long and ask her if she would still be a bridesmaid. if she says no.. then i will call my cousin back and see if she still would like to try to make it happen. still might not..but worth a try i suppose.
more bad news... my tummy hurts. but thats just because there was way too much sugar in my hot chocolate!! on my way home from work i stopped for gas and i got a hot chocolate while i was there. well, when i first pushed the button, this big cloud if powder mix came puffing from the machine. and the stuff coming out was very thick. when i took a sip it was soo sweet and soo rich it was crazy! and for some reason i drank it all. and wow i havent felt very well since then. and that was about an hour and a half ago.

oh yeah, im working on possibly transferring back to Produce at Bueches. I train in on thursday and Friday, then im there on saturday. only thing that stinks, is that im still scheduled to cashier on those same days. so basically im working two shifts on saturday. which had me as high in hours as they could get me with out getting into too much trouble... 38 1/2 hours!!! lol whew!! thats alot of hours. but..then i had to ruin it... i needed to have this next wednesday off to go to the cake store and shopping with Liz and her mom. but in my note to Diane, i asked for April 14th off not March 14th...so i was in a pickle..but then Tammie came to my rescue and said that she would work for me. (im going to have to bend down nd kiss her feet the next time i see her. i owe her bg time) so im going to see if i can take five hours from her schedule to make up for it.so woohooo... the possibility of switching to produce makes me very excited!! not to mention that i'll be working in the same department as Kyle. although kyle thinks ive made a big mistake by attempting to work with Betty. but oh well.. i think its worth a shot.

well its late now..especially sine day light savings is kicking in tonight... i better get home and get some sleep before its gone. so tootlez for now.

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Time:	11:23 am.
Music:	One Jump, From Alladin.

Update on Grandpa, they have moved him into a nursing home and the reports are actually very positive. i guess that all the activities and interaction that goes on in the nursing home is helping him perk up tremendously. the only thing that is not a positive result is the fact that he still gets uptight and insists that its time to go home. or that its time to leave. he still doesnt pay any attention to my grandma when she visits, so i guess it kindof confirms our fears that he doesnt recognize ANYONE. My aunt Wanda says its been pretty rough on grandma. but i guess the traveling back and forth to the nursing home is even more rough on her. All the moving around and sitting in the car and all, its really got her bones and muscles aching. but i guess overall.. this move to the nursing home has been the best thing so far for my grandpa.

now i have an issue that i need some ideas and advice from those who read my journal. which i guess that would only be </a></font></b></a>

horselover101 lol. but anyways hopefully you can help me. i know that you read my journal entry about my friend Jessica. and how shes not being very friendly right now. well i have come to the conclusion that i don't have room in my wedding for someone who wont even pay me the time of day. and i have someone else who is more deserving of the title of maid of honor. so my problem is... how do i tell her that i dont want her to be in my wedding anymore? i have a feeling i will end up bawling like a baby but oh well. it just bothers me that i am getting more enthusiasm and support from my BOSS than i am from her.
HELP ME!

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Time:

1:51 am.

I am craving a good hack on a good horse!! i wish i still had Midge to ride!! im hoping to go talk to Maribeth sometime and ask her if she has anything for me to ride. i need to work out all my worries and stress. if only there was a horse for me to ride on a regular basis i could try and lose some weight. riding always kept me in pretty good shape. especially back when i was riding for Alicia. i was riding 2-4 horses a night 4-6 nights a week. that was the best riding shape i have ever been in. but most of all.... work out the stress and worries, like i said before.
my mom called the other night and told me that my grandpa went into the hospital again. i guess he fell and my Aunt Ruby wasnt able to get him up, so she called Brad, and he wasnt able to get him up so they called an ambulance. and i guess that he is now refusing to walk. (he can but he just simply wont) they said that the alzchiemers has progressed to the point where the connectors that tell him he needs to eat/swallow are no longer working. they are lucky if they are even able to get him to eat a bite or two. he no longer recognizes my Grandma. so they are now sending him to a nursing home. so i dont know who will go first now... with my grandpa in the nursing home and not knowing who my grandma is, its really taken a big toll on my Grandma. dealing with everything else has really worn her down. and the track my grandpas on, i really dont think he's going to be around much longer either. My aunt said that back in December my grandpa had stopped taking his meds cold turkey. everything.. his heart meds, his Alzchiemers meds etc. he says they taste nasty. and he wont eat either. She said that after he stopped taking his meds he started peeing in garbage cans, and under the table, and even tried to aim for the sink in the kitchen. and now that this has happened, my aunt finally said that she cant take care of him on her own anymore. I guess that now my Aunt has taken my Grandma back home and they are going to go back down to Preston when they move my grandpa. which will probably be Friday. until then they have alarms on my grandpa. while he refuses to get up and walk for the doctor, he will randomly jump up and try to walk out of his room. i guess that last night he did get up and ended up pulling out the IV in his arm and walking into another patients room and told the other patient that he was in my grandpas bed.and i guess it took several nurses to get him back into his own bed and get his IV back in.
well its late and im done updating on my grandpa for now. so good night..altough you could argue that its morning. lol. so anyways...tootlez.

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